Today a really awful thing happened in our capital city. It wasn’t the first time evil people hurt innocent people for no reason, and we all know it won’t be the last. It was, however, the first time anything like this happened in our home country since I became your mum and it terrified me.
I will forever protect you both against the evil in this world. I will be your constant, your rock and your safe place. I know I’ll have to educate you on the wickedness that happens around the globe, but I will not let you be scared of it. Your lives have a purpose, they have a real meaning and I will do all I can to make sure you live them fearlessly.
Bean#1, your heart is already full of love and kindness. You have an ability to love and to show that love in a way that makes me burst with pride. When you’re older I’m sure some prick will take advantage of this love and kindness, but that will only make you stronger.
I’ll always encourage you to show the world this part of you, and I know Bean#2 will, too. She already knows you’re there if she needs a hand to hold or her hair brushed. You care for her so intensely, so passionately. It’s one of the most wonderful things to watch.
Your feelings of love for those dearest to you will occasionally give you heart ache and worry. You’ll always want to make them feel what you feel and sometimes that won’t be possible. You have to embrace these feelings as terrifying as they are.
When the doubt does creep in, just remember that you complete people by showing them your love. At just two years old you can banish my sadness, my anger, my loneliness, with just a simple cuddle. You rest your head on my shoulder and wrap your arms around my neck and instantly my world is complete. That is strength, not weakness.
Bean#2, at just two years old your independence, determination and strength is absolutely astounding. The pride I feel when I watch you set your mind on something and do all you can to achieve it is all consuming.
When I went into labour at 26 weeks it was your sister who wanted to come, you were pretty content and comfortable where you were. Unfortunately, when one of you has to come so does the other – it’s been the same ever since. That day, your birthday, you showed me your strength. You were so tiny, 1lbs 9oz to be precise, but you fought the world and you just got stronger.
You’ve never broken that habit, and sometimes I feel ashamed of myself for feeling such intense pride when you do something incredible. I should expect it now; I should know that you won’t let anything hold you back. But my heart still flips every time.
As you grow up and get even stronger these qualities of yours will only intensify. Few people may be intimidated and they may want to drag you down to make themselves feel better. You can’t let this stop you babber. Always remain kind, caring, determined and full of sass. Be proud of who you are and what you’ve achieved. I am.
Yes, you’re both identical twins. You’re essentially a unit, but I promise you both you are totally unique. I’m looking forward to watching you both become women, I know you’re both going to be incredible and achieve whatever it is that you want to.
When evilness happens in the wider world, or in your own smaller world, tackle it together. Hold each others hand and support each other jump. You two are an incredible force, it’s that thought that I remember when I start to worry about you growing up in a world so capable of hate. I shouldn’t be worried for you, I should be worried for the world. It’s not gonna know what the fuck has hit it.