I appreciate that men and women are different, and while I can’t speak for every woman (in fact I’d expect many women would like to distance themselves from the thoughts in my mind as much as possible), I think that learning how to empathise a little more will serve us all well.
If you’ve read any of my posts you may know that I hate to generalise men and women. All that ‘boys will be boys’ bull shit pisses me off beyond belief. That is why though this post may seem as though I’m saying men are shit and can’t empathise, I’m absolutely not. I’m saying people are shit.
“Don’t judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes.” Basically, put yourself in that person’s situation and show them what you think you’d like to be shown. I’m not a particularly argumentative person so I’m not suggesting this to prevent a flaming fight – arguments are good, they lead to either angry or make-up sex AND you get to vent a load – I’m suggesting this because it will make that person feel all warm and fluffy inside.
We all have a habit of taking the people we love in our lives for granted. But when you do that for too long, you can end up making that person you love feel like well… shit.
I appreciate it’s a tricky one (I’m pretty tricky). I don’t want a “thank you” every time I cook my family dinner or put a wash on; but if I got home from work one day and the dinner was on the table waiting for me – having not been asked “what shall I cook?” – I’d know that was gratitude. The husband would be showing me that he knows cooking a dinner for four after a 10 hour day isn’t always fun.
I man I work with makes his wife a hot water and lemon every single morning and has done for 30 plus years. I’m sure he loves doing it; it’s his way of showing his wife that he loves her and wants her to wake up happy. I’m also sure she does amazing things everyday that show him that he is loved, but wouldn’t be a lush feeling for him to wake up one morning with a hot drink next to him? A simple gesture that shows so much.
As I’m writing this, I can feel that I’m beating around the bush because I don’t wanna moan about the people in my life that I love so very much. But only about four people read my blog and they all know the two rules. 1)it’s very fucking honest 2)don’t talk to me about it. So fuck it, I’m gonna apply rule one.
Sometimes I don’t want to be in charge of every single little thing. If you don’t wanna make the decision, why the flying fuck do you think I want to? If you can’t be arsed to put the wash out (that I put on) guess what…neither do I!!!
Sometimes I just want the people in my life to acknowledge shit. I don’t want sympathy, complements or a tap on the back. I just want to not have to do something sometimes. It’s not that I hate doing it, it’s that I hate how relentless it is.
So much of what I do is noticed and appreciated, but then there is so much that isn’t. It’s those little things that people seem to think happen by magic that sometimes I’d like for someone else to do. Not just do, do properly.
So many of us have 110 things constantly in our heads. We lay awake at night making a mental list of what to do. Remembering Christmas thank you cards, kids birthday party presents, what day the bins go out so you take down the tree on the right day, if the kids clothes are getting too tight or they’re running out of shampoo, cleaning the dishwasher and fridge after Christmas. As well as the normal stuff like changing the beds, doing the menu and food shop, getting a towel wash on and buying that fucking mop that you’ve needed for ages so you can clean the kitchen fucking floor!!!!
Fuuuuuck I sound like a self-righteous, ungrateful prick. Don’t get me wrong, I get a weekend lay-in, breakfast made for me sometimes and people make me hot drinks. Not to mention what the mother ship does for me and my family every week. I know I’m lucky as fuck. I’m just having a little rant because lately, I’ve realised how far a little sign of empathy can go.
The festive season can be a period when some people feel a little overwhelmed with responsibly. Maybe we should all walk a mile in their shoes, and show them that we realise how fucking hard that distance can be.