So how was your first weekend as a “single mum”? I hear you all scream…well firstly thank you for asking it’s nice to know you care; and secondly, it was pretty fucking epic truth be told.

On Saturday we had a pretty successful PJ day. It mostly involved playing chase, hide and seek and them trashing the house. They loved turning their bedroom into a ‘fun fair birthday party’. That basically entailed them dragging all duvets on to their floor (mine included), throwing all their books into the wardrobe and pulling off the mattress from the bottom bunk and attempting to push it up against the window.

Sunday I had to brave their friend’s third birthday party. It was in a social club, I ordered wine.  The least said about that the better.

I’m also attempting to potty train at the moment. This means I spent a large amount of the day trying to explain to my very stubborn beans that they NEED to wee on the lav because otherwise our house is going to stink of wee and no one will want to be our friends.  I don’t think I’ve traumatised them yet.

Every time I started to feel sad, I just went and started a conversation with them. The utter shit they come up with always makes me smile. I’ll share a few of the little pearls with you all:

Example one:

“Ouch mummy! My tummy just farted.”

Example two:

Bean#2: “Come on Bean#1. Lets play up.”

Example three:

Mummy: “what are you up to beans?”

Beans: “making you a birthday cake. You can’t eat it though, it’s covered in ladybirds and a unipig lives inside it.”

Example four:

Bean#2: “I love you sissy”

Bean#1: “I love mini cheddars”

Example five:

*Whilst on the way to the cinema*

Bean#1 sings: “Yay!! We’re going to the seaman the seaman the seaman. I love the seaman!”