Firstly, I want to say that if you’re a bit of a prude I’d suggest avoiding this post. Don’t get me wrong, that isn’t a dig. I’d love to be a bit of a prude and have a bit more dignity. I’m an utter grot bag, boarder line disgusting, and that isn’t a good thing.
Secondly I want to explain why I’m writing it. It’s not men bashing! Over the last few weeks I have seen a lot of articles written by women about sex and I’ve spoken to a lot of girls/women about sex; together these things have given me a bit of an awakening. There seems to still be a massive difference in how acceptable it is for men to talk about sex versus women talking about sex.
TBH I wanted to write this post a few weeks ago after the first article I read, but I put something on my insta and twitter about women faking orgasms which wasn’t really appreciated, so I’m prepared for this post to have the same affect.
So anyway, if you don’t like reading about sex, if it makes you uncomfortable when women talk about masturbating or climaxing, or if you just generally don’t give a flying monkey about sex from a woman’s POV, then this post isn’t for you. You’ve been warned.
So, let’s talk about sex.
Personally, I am a big fan of it and I’m not afraid to talk about it. I like so much about it, I like being that close to someone and feeling their body. I like pleasing a person that I care for and I like the feeling of being in control of their pleasure. I like to feel wanted and desired (and dare I say it…even sexy). I like letting go of my inhibitions, stresses and worries and just being there in that moment with someone that makes me feel happy and content. So yeah, I likes me some sex.
But this post isn’t about what I like in bed, no one needs to read that (I’m pretty vanilla). I want this post to empower anyone that reads it, including men. I want to share my opinions on women and sex and how that all fits in with society. I’m not saying it from an educated point of view, it’s just an opinion. Hopefully it will make you ask yourself some questions about how you feel about the sex you’re having.
As much as I love the boys, I kinda think men are selfish. Just generally in life, I think they put themselves first. But when it comes to sex…I’ve not experienced a selfish man (not in adulthood anyway). Having said this, I have also never faked an orgasm so they’ve always known if they need to keep going or if they need to try something new.
However recently I have come to learn that a lot of women fake it. Like…a lot of women. It baffled me. Why would you fake it? Who wins in that situation? The woman doesn’t get to climax and the man thinks he’s done a great job when frankly, he hasn’t.
When I asked why they faked it, I was even more baffled. So many of them faked it because they felt guilty for not cumming. They feel guilty?!?! Whaaaaat? They don’t want the man they’re with to feel inadequate for not being able to make them cum so they just let out a few moans, thrust their hips up and finish with a little scream.
Women actually care more about hurting a man’s ego then they do over the fact that they didn’t get to shoot their load. It’s crazy! Ultimately a man shouldn’t feel bad if he can’t get a woman there, we’re complex creatures. You can’t just rub us up and down in a particular sequence, sex is about our heads as much as it’s about giving us head.
I’d encourage women to be honest with their partner, tell them that despite loving every minute you could love it a little more. Try getting there together or try it on your own first – learn your own body and what you like. I promise it’s worth it. Their ego is not worth it, multiple orgasms are.
Trying it on our own brings me nicely on to the topic of masturbation (vom! That is such a horrible word. Fingering is worse though, the word I mean).
Yup, women wank. I’d comfortably say that most women wank. Believe it or not, some of us gals also have that ‘competition conversation’ with their friends….
Friend: “What’s the most you have pulled one off in one day?”
A lot of the ladies I spoke with were shocked that I’d happily talk about wanking, but when I asked them why I should feel ashamed or be secretive they couldn’t really give me an answer.
One or two said that they’d feel embarrassed talking about it because they’d think people would assume they were only talking about it because they wanna turn the men on around them.
I get it, porn would have us believe that men find the thought of women wanking hot, but that’s their issue not ours. If a woman didn’t talk about something because of the risk of turning on a man, they’d probably never speak! Having said that, a silent woman would probably flick the switch for a lot of men too.
I guess I just feel, from what I’ve read and the chats I’ve had, it’s not acceptable for us ladies to talk about enjoying the sex or a little DIY. It’s seen as an embarrassment, a flirting technique or just improper.
I defo think society has moved on and it’s more known that a lot women love sex and that actually a lot of men hate it; but is it safe to say it is still a case of “A lady in the street and a freak in the bed”?
People know women love the sex …but are they ready to hear us talk about it? Just a thought.